"THE TWELVE"

What a bunch of elitist wankers! Well not totally elitist since we'll leave you to order our twelve finest NZ bands. Why 12? Cause that's how many toes most folks around here have got.

What sort of taste do we the panel have?

Well that's a good question. We love 50's rock & roll and appreciate country and western as well as the blues. We thinki the British invasion was great but the Stones lost the plot in the mid '70's for sure as did most of the established rock world.

Respect to Elvis but Iggy is the King around here. We totally dig American and English New Wave and Punk. Jimi Hendrix is a god but stadium rock & eighties metal doesn't really turn our wheels.

We dig American Indie labels like Matador, Homestead, Touch'n'Go, Crypt, Sympathy for The Record Industry etc etc. We adore the White Stripes and think Dead Moon are the greatest.

Back home In New Zealand we love all that 60's 'Wild Things' stuff, all the classic Punk from around the country and of course 80's Flying Nun.

Naturally we have immersed ourselves in the more underground Ch-Ch, Dunedin, Palmy North, Wellington and Auckland dirty r'n'r scenes since 1990. Pretty standard common sense good taste really.

On the whole we think the major record labels suck shit and have a lot to answer for (one day we will have our Nuremburg!).

We rate originality and lyrics that make you think score highly with us. The panel are of course lo-fi animals to the last man and do not have any time for digital trickery and over-production.

Live performances should be all about power and beauty. The beauty of raw human power is a beautiful thing. Pretentious predictable posing is pretty yawnable and just standing there only really works if the meaning of life is being imparted to the audience.

Anyhow citizens those were roughly the criteria and we are proud to present you with what we think are the Twelve finest bands in New Zealand.

Only 3 of the 12 are on major labels and many of these bands recordings are only available at their gigs and on the web. Hunt them down. You could be 50% cooler by this time next year.

The 12.

SHAFT (Auck).
The Pro-Drag All-Stars (Wgtn).
The D4.
The Palace of Wisdom.
The Rainy Days.
The Stefan Van Soesst Hit Machine (Ch-Ch).
The Bloody Souls (Auck).
The Datsuns (Ham).
The Rock & Roll Machine (Auck).
The Dellburgoes (Greymouth).
The Coolies (Auck).
The Brunettes (Auck).

Recently rip & sorely mourned . . .

The Hi-tone Destroyers (Ch-Ch).
The Ho-Dogs (Dunedin).
The Hasselhoff Experiment (Wgtn).
The Incisions (Ch-Ch).
The Flaming Werepigs (Palmy North).
Nothing at All (Auck).

But you are fucking crazy if you don't go and see . . .

When we say you'd be mad to miss any of the 35+ bands on our next list we mean it. These bands are all excellent, superb even and we strongly implore you to go see them and buy their records at the first opportunity. Once again this list is in no particular order.

Depending upon your tastes and knowledge of some of the bands in our 12, many of these bands may have been in your 12. We will update this list as we become aware of worthy outfits that deserve inclusion.

World War 4 (Auck).
Xanadu (Auck).
Gas (Ch-Ch).
The Chandeliers (Wellington).
Slavetrader (Auck).
The Ogden Steers (Palmy).
The Aesthetics (Dunedin).
Davy G & the Engines of Efficiency (Auck).
Bob Cardy (Auck).
Voodoo Savage & His Savages (Wgtn).
The Exercise Machine (Ch-Ch).
The Terminals (Ch-Ch).
Brother Love & His Free Association (Wgtn).
The Try Hards (Ch-Ch).
Lil Stevie Maccabe (Auck).
Nouveau Riche (Wgtn).
Mary (Auck).
Richie Venus (Ch-Ch)
Any of Flying Nun's old guard.
The Shambolics (Wgtn).
The Renderers (Dun).
The Hollow Grinders (Ham)
Hoof (Auck).
Cabbage Bomber (Auck).
The Pussies (Auck).
The D Super (Wgtn).
The Mint Chix (Auck).
The Demi-whores (Auck).
Cortina (Wgtn).
The Snares (Dun).
1080 (NP).
Two Lane Blacktop (Wgtn).
Grand Cobra (Auck)
The Blunts (Auck).
The Shocking Pinks (Ch-Ch).
Mobile Stud Unit (Ham).
The Parents (Auck).